100 Crazy Things My Mom Says: A Collection Of Fantastico Momisms!

05:11

100 crazy things my mom says
They say the craziest women are the happiest and perhaps that’s the reason why our mom’s drive us crazy with their mom-isms. They simply want us to be HAPPY in every phase of our LIFE! ^_^ A mother does everything for her child, from putting up with her tantrums to listening to them rant about our 20-something problems - moms do it all! No matter how old we get, we can always count on our moms to be there for us, whether we need a pep talk or a shoulder to cry on.

Our mothers are fantastico for they are our role models and also our best friends. I want to salute my mother for she truly brought up her daughter as both her daughter and her son! My mother's arms were always open when I needed a hug. Her strength and love have guided me and given me wings to fly.
Sometimes when I was a kid, I would get angry on being told crazy things by my mum but now I know that all mothers are handed a dictionary of Mom-terms and paranoia at some point. Each of the craziest and funniest things my mom said were to guide me. I can never thank her enough for all the crazy things she told me. Her Momisms have a huge hand in shaping me and making me into what I am today! Love you Mom, you are the most Fantastico person in my life ! *Gets all emotional*
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An ode to her motherhood, here are 100 Fantastico and Funny things My Mother always said/says:
1. Raat ko jaaldi so jaya kar nahi toh dark circle aa jaye ge!
2. Manmohan ji se seekh, woh kitne shaant hai, aur ek tu hai, saara din bus bolti rehti hai
3. Aaj cigarette pi ke sorry bol rahe ho, kal ko drugs kar ke sorry bologe.
4. Naya excuse do, purane walon se main tangg ho chuki hoon
5. Bas bohot ho gaya!! Ek tu tu ghar me ragegi ya fir mai! :p
6. Hum to friend’s bhi papa se puch ke banate the...
7. Beta roti banana seekh le. Sasural walo ko kya roz maggi aur pasta khilayegi?
8. You should have your phone surgically implanted in your ear.
9. Tere yeh paanch minute aur sone dena wala clause kya full life ka hai?
10. Maggi bana lene se koi chef nahin ban jaata, samjhi?
11. Kisi ke paaon padne se tu choti nahi ho jaayegi, samjhi!
12. TV apne liye ya neighbors ke liye chalaaya hai (if the volume's too loud) :D
13. 'Ye fati hui jeans kyun pehni hain? Laa sil doon'
14. 'Wo kahegi kuye mie kood jaa to tu kood jayegi?".
15. "You don't have a Valentine? Aww mera bachha! Chal, main banti hoon teri Valentine."
16. “Natak Bandh kar..., tumhe toh Drama mein PHD milni chahiye !”
17. Khumbhkaran bhi itna nahin soya hota jitna ki tum soti ho
18. My mom holds the degree of EA: Specializing in Emotional Atyaachar! :D
19. Itni dieting karegi toh ek din hawa mein gayab ho jaayegi, bus kar!
20. Twitter se kya tera pett bharega jo saara din isi par lagi rehti hai?
21. Iss modern zamane ki hawa ne bacchon par galat asar kar diya hai
22. Saas ki daant sunegi tab tu samjhegi Maa jo kehti thi, theek kehti thi
23. Tujhe kya, jo karna hai, woh mujhe aur tere papa ko hi karna hai, tu lagi reh Twitter par
24. Toh Aage Kya Socha hai??
Ya Socha Hi Nahi....
25. Me: Mom, I stood first in the class.
Mom: Mujhe malum hai meri beti intelligent hai.
Me: Mom please!!! :P
26. When will you stop learning newer ways to be stupid!
27. If you swallow a seed, the tree might just grow in your tummy! (When I was a kid)
28. Watches all Ekta Kapoor's daily soaps. And still says, "Kya serials produce karti hai? Aisa hota hai kabhi? Hadd hai!"
29. 'You can tell me anything. Mujhe dost samajh'....’you did what?! Ruk tere papa ko batati hoon!
30.  Phone ko aag laga dungi :|
31. "Natak bandh kar, chup chap kha le.. Dieting se kuch nahi hoga.."
32. tu kitna bhi bada hoja mere liye baccha hi rahega
33. Garam garam kha lena khana, thanda acha nahi lagega
34. Mera beta toh laakhon mai ek hai! (The classical dialogue)
35. Mrs Sharma ki beti dekhi hai? Ghar ka sara kaam kar leti hai..tu bhi kuch sikh le usse!
36. Hamara Zamane mein to shaadi bina dekhe hoti thi, aur tum log toh Internet par dating karte ho:D
37. “3 roti se kahaan pet bharega , ek aur ek aur mere liye :D”
38. Give me the remote, whole day you've been watching cartoon n cricket...
39. Mom - zara market se doodh ka packet lana..
Me - Me nahi jauga
Mom - Kyu? Tere pairu me mehndi lagi hai?
40. Jab Bade Baat kar Rahe hain, CHoton ko Taang adana nahi Chhiye :(: D
41. Dost bole toh sahi, hum bole toh kadwa lagta hai !
42. Always respect women!! Don't forget, it was a woman who gave u birth
43. TV pe news aur discovery bhi aata hai!
44. “God is watching you”
45. Batman ki Fan ho to kya Nocturnal ban jaogi? Raat Raat bhar Twitter: P
46. “Don’t stay out late in the night.... Zamana bahot bura hai :p”
47. “Yeh Ghar hai Ya kabootarkhana?”
48. Indian roads are cleaner than your room:-D
49. I'll give you one kick na, you'll go flying to America.
50. Am I talking to a brick wall?
51. "Watching Roadies won't get you a job"
52. "Aaj maine tere pasand ka khana banaya hai..."
53. "Eat slowly the food is not going anywhere" :)
54. Roti gin ke nahi khaate :D
55. Party? Raat k 2 baje tak? Party hai yaa Jagraata? :)
56. Tu ladki nahi...aafat ki pudiya...shaitaan ki naani hai: D
57. dont put black color clothes during functions its "abbshagun"
58. Kaise chotey chotey kapde pehne hain ! Tum bhul gaye kisiki beti ho??!!!!
59. Turn off the Tap now, tujhe to Rajasthan me paida hona tha tab pata chalta :D
60. Teri umar me Maine pura Ghar sambhaal liya tha.
61. "Haslo Meri baaton pe! Ek din jab duniya Tumpe Hasegi tab ye MAA yaad aaegi"
62. HUMARE ZAMANE MEIN TOH....anything fits hereon!! :D
63. Kya Twitter pe hi Ghar basaa liya hai ? :P
64. " Do You need permission from Gov. Of India To clean your Room? :P
65. Abb khane ki bhi selfie logi?"
66. 7 baj gaye star plus laga ... Ye tumhare Reality shows to roz ate hai ... Gopi ki shadi hai
67.  *When a friend backstabs you* "Bola tha maine.. Usse dur reh...sunta kaun hai meri"
68. "Ek baar bass tu pass hojaye .. **** mandir me dus nariyal chadhaungi" (To my brother)
69.  Yeh kaise dost hai tumahre........tedhe Mere!!!
70. Muje Raj kapoor ke gaane download karke do !!
71. Beta mera Aashirwad Toh There Sath ha But tu Kuch kar toh Sahi :P
72. Ye koi New Hair Style hai ya Chuhe ne Kutar Diye Tumhare Baal ?
73. Apna haal toh dekh kitn dubli-patli ho gayi hai!
74. Me- I am Going to water park.
Mom - kyun ghar pe paani nahi hai kya ?
paisa kharach karne ka bahana
chahiye tumhe?
75. "Jaa kar apne bal katwalo.. junglee hogaye ho!" :D (To My brother)
76. Mom - Aaj college ja rahe ho?
Me - Jee mummy
Mom- to lage hath ye landline ka bill bhi bhar dena..
77. Bhala, mere baato se tera kya lena-dena - tumhe to lagta hai mein bas bolti rehte hu.
78. Poore Ghar ko dustbin banana kab band karogi ?
79. Mum- Mjhe tu 10 rs milte the. Tume credit card chahiye
Me- Tab nhi tha na
Mum- Chup kar !
80. Opens every phone conversation with me with "Did you eat?"
81. "Kuch seekh le Sasuraal jayegi to sab hamko hi kahenge"..lol
82. 'Arey teri naani aa rhi zara ladkiyon waale kapde nikaal le "..lol
83. "Itna saj dhaj k kahan chali " ..
84. Remind you again and again to learn to make Aaloo Gobhi else you'll not get married. :-D
85. "When are you getting married? When will I play with my grandkids? You have no consideration. We're getting old"
86. “I will treat my Daughter in law like my own Daughter , not like my mother in law who was Lady Hitler :P”
87. Killing time is no superpower, get a life away from laptop! ;)
88. Haye mera bachhi, heera hai heera :-D
89. Ek kaam kar ye Mobile se Shaadi kar le :P
90. Shut up! Can’t you see I am watching my serial?
91. Stop playing this rock music so loud i will start playing Arti songs on the speakers: P
92. "Mehman aaye hai bahar.. Muh dikhaneke liye toh kamse kam bahar aa" ... :P
93. "Facebook ka bhoot utra nahi ki ab ye whatsapp..." :P
94. "Jab hostel me rahegi na ... Tab samjhegi meri kimat!"
95.  "24hrs fan chalu rakh . Thoda bandh karke bahar ka fresh hawa bhi kha.. Accha lagega"
96. "Tu ek baar kamana chalu kar fir dekhti hu me kitna kharch karti hai" ! :P
97. Hazar baar bola hai.. Raste pe earphones lagake mat chal.. Gaana nahi suna toh mar jayenge kya!
98. "Dusre room me jaate waqt fan bandh kiya kar..Kitne baar bolneka!" :P
99. "Paani peeneke baad bottle bharke fridge me rakh!"
100. *With Others* "Bohot accha gaadi chalati hai" *Just with me* "Thik Thak chalati hai"


This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.

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